M & J  HELPING HANDS, Inc.

How I was Led to My Transformation:

I Must "Empower Me" Before I could Empower Women & People!!

Practicing *Self-Love & Self-Worth*

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I was a woman who had lost her identity.  I didn’t know the answer to the most powerful questions that anyone could ask. Who I am?  I would take long looks at myself in the mirror and wonder who am I?  Does anyone know who I am? Some would say, I am a single mother of two boys, very confident, strong, independent, etc. Others would say that I am a single mother of two boys and I am a mess.  The most important thing that I needed to realize is that it does not matter what others say about me. In the end it only matters what type of woman I portray myself to be.  I have carried on many roles as a woman until I became overwhelmed playing all the roles.  Now, when I look at myself in the mirror I see a woman who is lost and fighting to find her way back to reality.  I had seen a woman who was not aligned or grounded. I needed purpose. I needed to heal. I needed to grow.

 

For a very long time, I never really knew who I was because I never dealt with any of my problems.  It was easier to run away from my problems or to make myself emotionally unavailable by putting a wall up with anyone that might want to hurt me. I avoided my own problems when they would arise by focusing on others.  I chose to give to everyone because I have never wanted to see others suffer like I have.  I didn’t think I mattered because if I put myself first I would be selfish, and I didn’t deserve to be loved or to be happy. 

 

When good things were going on in my life and I was being blessed; that is when someone would come into my life and “remind” me that I didn’t deserve all these blessings.  I would allow myself to be influenced by these individuals, and in doing so, I would go back to behaviors that were destroying what God was trying to build in my life. My relationships were damaged greatly, and my overall happiness tainted, due to me pushing the good people out of my life that God was bringing into it.  I started to attract people that wanted to manipulate me, control me, take advantage of me, etc. Finally, my life slowly disappeared till my spirit was no longer able to function in this world.  How could this be?  Why did I allow this to happen?  How do I bring myself back to knowing who I am? I realized that I would not be able to do it myself. I was stripped down and humbled to the fact that I could not do it alone. My path led me back to God.

 

I started to trust God and give Him all my worries.  I am being reminded many times for me to find balance in my life is to put “Me” first and knowing my “Self Worth”.  How can I truly love God, my boys, and others if I do not know how to love my “Own Self”?  How can I help others if I am a mess?  How can I help my own boys deal with their own life or give them the confidence to become a man? How would I truly become a mother that my children would respect? One of the things we see God do is provide guidance throughout the Scriptures to teach and refine our lives to bring us to places where we must decide: 

 

• Will I trust God in this moment? 

• Will I trust God even when all logic seems to aim in another direction? 

• Will I trust God even when I don’t feel or like it?

• Will I trust God when is not convenient?

• Will I trust God when is obeying seems counter-intuitive?

 

In Genesis 22, God tells Abraham to take his son – “yes your only son, whom you love so much” – and go and sacrifice him….  Up to this point Abraham had faced many challenges.  Following God and His voice meant tough decisions.  But none of the challenges he faced even came close to this challenge, the challenge of sacrificing his only son.  Abraham makes the journey and follows through in obedience.  Then, right before sacrificing the son whom he loves, an angel of God says to Abraham, “Don’t lay a hand on the boy! Do not hurt him in anyway, for now I know that you truly fear God.  You have not withheld from me even your son, your only son (Genesis 22:12 NLT).

 

God had to know:  would Abraham choose his only son Isaac?  Or would Abraham choose Him?  Likewise, God is regularly exposing where our true allegiances lie, and He’s regularly exposing all the things we worry and have anxiety about.  Whatever it is that we allow to come between God and us is the very thing that attempts to control outcomes! 

 

The important things (family, work, housing, money, etc.) become all too important to us because they become the places we look to for rest and security.  When they do, they not only provide rest, they become the reason for the endless cycles of worry, anxiety, and fear. Worry and rest always reveal the true treasures of your heart.  What does your world of worry reveal about the true treasures of your heart?  Where are you storing treasures at; on Earth or in Heaven? We are taught not to store treasures on Earth where moth and rust corrupt or where thieves break through and steal, but to store up treasures in Heaven where moth or rust don’t corrupt or where thieves can break through and steal. For where you treasure lies, your heart will also (Matthew 6:19-21).
 

You will rest the most when what you treasure the most is secure!  The book of Psalms tells us this: “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act (Psalm 37:4-7).  The book of Psalms provides for us a road map to a confident joy that frees us moment-by-moment from living in paralyzing fear and anxiety:  delight in God.  Make Him the central focus of All of your life, and in return your joy is guaranteed – He will give you the desires of your heart.  Which is more of God! 

 

What is that thing you’re clinging to that is crowding out God from your life?  What is your next move to surrendering that to God and allowing freedom to come through a simple (not easy) moment of obedience?  “Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise (Hebrews 10:23).